Be More Generous

How many of us live our lives in fear of being a burden?

Have you ever held back a comment for fear of taking up too much airtime in a conversation? Or held back a request for help for fear that others would feel pressure to accommodate your needs? If so, you are not alone. In fact, as far as I can tell, this is a pervasive phenomenon in our society: we just don’t want to become a burden. And we don’t want to be burdened. These fears run under the surface of many interactions and stifle our capacity to experience the abundance we so desperately long for.

As a society, we are stingy with time, with money, with feelings and emotions, with trust and with love. We have been hurt before, and don’t want to be hurt again. We are afraid there won’t be enough to go around, so we keep it to ourselves. We think there isn’t really space for us, or that others can’t handle us, so we don’t give all of ourselves in any given moment. We don’t offer our gift to the world because we’re not perfect – yet – and we might not do it right. We save up because one day, when disaster strikes, we will really really need it…

I am fortunate to have a friend who is incredibly generous in his communication. He says what he feels, and speaks loudly. He offers care and compassion without hesitation. He talks with his hands, gesturing frequently and fiercely. His emotion shows on his face. When he disagrees – or agrees – he doesn’t hold back. When he sings, his rich deep voice resonates throughout the room in a way that catches your attention immediately and holds it for the duration.

Spending time with this friend is refreshing and sometimes jarring at the same time. We are simply not used to seeing another human being flow so freely. In his company, my boundaries (the ones I am so sure I need in order to keep myself safe) begin to melt. My own history tells me that I should worry about shining too brightly, because it’s not safe. My own body does a very good job of containing joy. After years of over-giving and getting hurt, I learned the importance of saying “no.” And yet, in all of that, I realize that something subtle but meaningful has gone missing my life.

And frankly, I’d like to have it back.

In your movement practice this week, I invite you to explore what it might mean to “be more generous” with your giving.  Perhaps you will expend a little more energy than usual, trusting that the inner supply is abundant enough to last as long as you need it. You might breath more fully, show more joy, or take up more space.  Or perhaps you will simply focus on giving yourself the feel-good gift of movement, allowing yourself to enjoy the experience a little more deeply than usual.

However you choose to express it, notice how generosity feels in your body. Is it easy or difficult for you? What emotions or sensations does it bring up?

In life, use this week to take stock of your “stingy” side. In what relationships and situations do you hold really strong boundaries? Who are they keeping out? Is there room to be more generous here? Are there ways you could be more generous with your money… your time… your care… without running the risk of losing yourself? Could you be more generous with your voice, without running the risk of stepping on the toes of colleagues and friends?  This week practice saying just “yes.”

Giving more love,

Lee